I’ve spent several hours trying to come up with an extravagant first blog entry that will make you want to keep coming back. That is the definition of debilitating perfectionism. I am not that. I am far from perfect of which you will soon discover.

What I am good at? Proving people wrong and going against societal “norms.” I don’t think I’m special. I definitely don’t know everything.  I’m a college drop out. I was checked into rehab at 19 years old. I was labeled an alcoholic/addict and had a criminal record. My dreams and aspirations at that time in my life were not high. I decided to prove not only myself wrong but the world as well.

What I do know is… I wanted to launch this blog in an effort to share what I do know in hopes of helping others or giving you a good laugh.

After living in Los Angeles for 12 years, I had to pack my bags and move to Oregon. At the same time, I came to the realization that all this time I spent too much money filling a black hole of a void. I usually like to break it down to I’m just awful with money, but I was living just to make money. Only finding joy buying shiny things. I decided to strip myself of all unnecessary material objects. I sold the red bottoms, I sold the sneakers, the Rolex, and the Chanel’s. I quit the hair extensions, the lip fillers, and the Botox.

How I’ve measured my success which I wish to never do again:

I remember STRESSING about picking the perfect bag. I was finally breaking away from the Marc Jacobs and Michael Kors. I was deciding which Saint Laurent bag I would purchase. I wanted the classic Sac De Jour bag and settled on white with gun metal hardware. It made me so happy to have this unique bag that I worked so hard to purchase.

Two years ago, I was having a shit birthday. I was supposed to be in Miami celebrating with my girlfriends, but I discovered why I don’t celebrate my birthday in Miami…. It’s hurricane season! So, due to Hurricane Dorian, my epic Dirty Thirty trip got canceled. I made the decision to either purchase a brand-new Classic Chanel Flap or a Vintage Classic Flap bag. This to me was the next step up for where I was success wise. I was making the conscious effort to invest in bags that appreciate rather then depreciate. That’s how I justified the purchase in my head when in reality it was what the bag said which is what I wanted.

It is in this moment I came to this realization. I used to make fun of a girl who had interviewed for a position as the CEO/Founder Assistant. In the interview she was asked, “What are your career goals?” and she responded with “An Hérmes Bag.” A purse was her goal! Seriously!?!?

I became that girl essentially. I just want to throw it out into the universe, I would like to apologize for criticizing something that I myself was guilty of.

I’m flawed, but I’m healing.